Why can not my husband is trying to save our marriage?

It is not uncommon to hear from wives who are trying very hard to get their husbands to assume that saving the marriage. In many cases, the wife firmly believes that the marriage can be saved if they both agree to save and work while her husband just does not want to do these things. Wives often do not understand. I often hear comments like "why not try to work to save our marriage? He does not want us to be able to work things out?" There are many reasons to give up marriage, husbands and / or refuse to try to save them. I will discuss some of these reasons in the following article.

Option Number One: he does not want to try to save the marriage, because they have a different agenda: Sometimes husbands look at or do not want to save your marriage because they have been through in their heads, or heart. Wives often assume that he is interested in or someone else. This is sometimes true, but this is not always the case. In general, if the husbands have made the very difficult decision to move on, they do not want to step down about it because they do not like emotionally unstable. They do not want to get back to the question, because I do not really think that things will change. Of course, if you want to save your marriage, you need to understand these barriers and overcome them.

wives often admit to me that as soon as they realize that their husbands passed, at least in his mind, the temptation to give up. I understand, but I've seen this situation turn enough to convince you that this situation is seldom hopeless, although there is not always an immediate solution.

Option Number Two: he doesn & # 39; t want to save the marriage, because I do not think you should have to work so hard. Or "work" of saving the marriage is not sympathetic to him wives often admit to me that the approach put forward in getting her husband to "work" with them to save the marriage. They will use phrases such as: ". But if you work with me, I know that we could save the marriage" Or "just a little work, we were able to turn this around."

These sentences can not fake it. And they are not asking too much. But the image that sometimes elicit husbands are not optimal. Often, it would have better results if you just paint a different mental picture that mean the same thing. Many times, when you say to people that you want to "work" with her marriage, which makes pictures you discuss your deepest feelings, or tell him what he was doing wrong, or if it is not. Or he will be probing the deepest image of a marriage counselor's feelings or what feels impossible demands. This is generally not something you want. You'll see it as something that is not desirable, and he then either close it or reject it completely.

You're so much better if you ask him the same thing, but in different words, and therefore the end of a variety of mental images. For example, instead of "work" or "save" language, you might want to hit where you know that the target is most effective. In other words, what you most enjoy in marriage, when things are good? What was the biggest pay off? Many men with this physical aspect of marriage. Thus, men often equate an emotional connection. Some men will respond to laughter or something else, but I really miss a lot of physical intimacy.

In this case, instead of the "working" or "save marriage" language, it is possible to approach something like "Only I miss feeling so physically connected. Used to off sparks can ignite fireworks you. it is so exciting to me, when you are connected that way, and I want to do and connect with you in this way again. I sincerely think it can not get back to that place. "

See how this works? Approaching her, if you know that the currency. Asking him to "work" or "save" is not as effective as asking him to join.

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Cause three: do not believe that marriage be saved because it Out played before less than desirable results: I Dialogue many men in this situation. Many people say that they are not committed to saving the marriage, it is doubtful whether it can be saved. And they feel that past attempts to save not only not that much fun, but it was a mistake. So they hesitate to repeat the process all over again the same result.

So, you have to overcome your fear and doubt. And one way to do this is to begin to show him some positive changes and improvements without it having to be involved. There really is a lot of things you can improve yourself, without any cooperation from him. People often doubt, but it's really true. There are some great power only in yourself and change the ones that approach, perceive and make things right.

And often, when you focus on yourself, show her a real and lasting changes will not painful at all. This is a very effective way to begin to chip away his doubts and resistance.

Source by Leslie Cane

Holiday Engagement: Engagement Proposal Ideas for Christmas

This is the time of year when everyone gets are close to love. I remember being thankful for what they think and what they want to hold on to in the future. Christmas engagements are very common, and in fact most of the engagements will actually happen around the holidays!

Some people are clueless when it comes to suggestions of Christmas, Christmas engagement or thinking ideas. Here are some ideas that can give you a picture perfect vacation or spark creativity in order to say "Merry Christmas" in the most surprising ways!

How the ornamental Ring

is a cute way to propose to Christmas to hang the ring in the Christmas tree – as a gift! Already in the ring it will be the only ornament on the tree, when you walk in … or hang the ring box with a ribbon on the tree and point out the "interesting" new ornament. He will not know what you think!

Visit Santa Claus

No, seriously. Go to the mall and visit Santa Claus. This could be the perfect Christmas engagement! Tell her you know what you want for Christmas … and then boom. Drop down to one knee in front of everyone. It should also be said that Santa knew what he wanted! (Cheesy but true!)

The Mistletoe Magic

Everyone knows that the Christmas tradition to kiss under the mistletoe … why not take it a step next? Give it a quick smooch will pop the question there – propose mistletoe under the Christmas tree! This is a romantic, personal and intimate way to share the moment with.

The point Stockings

This Christmas engagement proposal ideas are very easy to figure out. Hide the ring in his box at the bottom of Christmas stockings. When you go through the candy and the little things along the way, the best gift you will have to wait at the bottom – an engagement ring!

The Stroke of Midnight

Another interesting proposal Christmas idea to ask the question, when the clock strikes midnight – between Christmas Eve and Christmas day at the moment. You can make your holiday really begins in the second commitment surprise for Christmas.

The family gathered 'Round

This Christmas engagement idea that you can only do when it's convenient and a good relationship with the family! If both are super close to the family, try popping the marriage question when the family is together to celebrate the holiday. Then everyone celebrated together when he says, "Yes!".

Christmas Abroad

Many people travel during the Christmas holidays Try a trip to an exotic, somewhere between two lovers whether it is the heart of Europe or the coast of Costa Rica, a creative way to propose to Christmas to ask if somewhere completely new -.. a adventure you can find both together! the best part is coming home to share the good news.

For a romantic evening out

Perhaps a romantic date the two of you can be a way, they like better to propose at Christmas. Try planning a lovey dovey romantic date night. A carriage ride in the city center, looking at Christmas lights, snow, dinner at a fancy restaurant by candlelight or a home cooked meal at home Christmas music playing in the background provide a perfect setting Christmas engagement.

personalized It! (Decorative ie)

We have all seen those decorations at the mall and other stores where their own personalized Christmas ornaments. Try the 4 words of the Christmas decorations! There is engraved or painted, then leave the tree and feed it to him. You do not even need to talk! The decoration will speak for themselves.

Christmas Photo Album

a creative way to propose and perfect gift itself is a customized photo album photo of the two of us. Websites like Shutterfly spectacular Christmas photo albums that you can give him as a gift. Make the last image of this album is a photo of a ring. You can ask it.

Ask In Bed

This is probably the most intimate way to ask that question cardiac arrest. On Christmas morning in bed. Keep your personal and private things with each other. Asking him to come to you in bed on Christmas morning might not seem the most creative way to propose to Christmas, but it will be a moment alone to share a map of your surroundings and only two of us to share.

Source by Raychle Searfoss

Can marriage be saved after a move to the husband?

Because of my own experience and the fact that I write much savings marriage, I actually asked this question a little bit. Wives are thought to her second husband walks out the door, all is lost and that the marriage is officially over. The truth is, her husband leaving or moving out does not have to end the game. Even the closing of a divorce is not necessarily the end of the marriage. We all know that couples who get divorced and remarrying at the end of the road. The truth is, as long as there is a party who is willing to work to save the marriage and relationship, certainly there is a chance. The fact that research on the subject shows that you are that person, so let's start. To save your marriage, you really do not need convincing a few things, which I describe in this article.

The first thing you need to do is to steer her husband back home to check their negative feelings. If hostile, degrading, and argumentative, or when they want to question, debate or repeatedly asks for confirmation, you can just go to promote negative feelings and her husband is only going to want to steer clear of you.

Yes, absolutely right to your feelings and to answer their questions. I know this is a difficult time, but there is the best place and time for everything, and if the marriage is in trouble, it's usually not a good idea to continue to discuss and draw attention to what is wrong. Always remember that if you want to get your husband back, you definitely need him to feel positive feelings when he thinks and interacts with you. He can not do this if you have a high stress or anger, which is always present when they are together.

Next, I want you to think back to when the first date. Then, I want to be exactly the qualities that her husband first fell in love. Many people make the mistake of saying, look here or chemistry. Although physical attraction is often part of "love" is often not the only or even the most important. Actually this is a symptom of the product or the feelings that you trigger your partner.

Most people "fall in love" because of the feelings that the other person knows who they themselves. In other words, a man deeply in love with a woman who can make him feel alive, intelligent, talented, and attractive. This is what leads to the "spark" and "chemistry". This is often not so much the physical appearance and more to do with an open heart, thoughtfulness, sense of humor, and caring deeply into the partner's happiness.

Whatever conditions we have identified the key to your husband, ask yourself how often been pointed out that her recently? The answer is probably not enough. In any case, today and in the future must be able to show the positive qualities that her husband every chance you get, while the dignity and self-worth.

I know what you're probably thinking – that her husband has moved out how you will see these qualities now? Well, first of all, if we let go of negative emotions and agreed to show only the best version of yourself, it will help the cause a little bit. If your husband know that you should not be afraid of confrontation or negative experience, she is likely to be much more receptive to you.

Then, if the husband is not at all receptive to communication, then I want to agree with him. Yes, we need him in the eye and say, "you're right." I know this sounds risky, but it's really not a couple of reasons. First, it greatly reduces stress. If you indicate that you love, and I will miss him, but agree that you could both take a break to work on yourself, you're not threaten her and there is not much reason to stop you. And if you do not see the need, the desperate and unattractive.

The next step, I can actually legitimately getting out and doing the things that makes me happy. Friends visit. See the movies. Go to concerts. Do what makes a genuine smile on her face. Not only that, you feel better, you are likely to peak your husband's interest. He will probably be wondering what is wrong with you. And contribute to the positive feelings of happiness that can prove that to him.

If you have completed the above, and he is just not communicating or playing together, understand that you have to take baby steps here. You might "run into him unexpectedly," she remembers that "forgot" something you might want to or need to "talk" a legitimate question to him.

However, it should be used with extreme caution in and make sure that enough time has passed so that the non-obvious things that you're really emotionally okay, and that will not appear desperate or needy. If you suspect your husband of measures is not genuine or when playing games, will probably resist any more.

The point is that his departure could be a positive thing. This gives him time to miss you and want to return to what they share. And if he does not think we want to do this with a smile. This is why it is very important to make the restoration of positive feelings and experiences of the highest priority, without being obvious about it openly and without that power away. They resist any behaviors that elicit negative behaviors titulálni yourself in a negative light.

Source by Leslie Cane

Most popular type of diamond engagement rings

The old saying that diamonds are a girl's best friend is true, even in the modern era. With so many choices and new trends every day, diamonds continue to be separate for every woman. With that said, what better gift than the day diamond engagement ring he will commit his whole life to her husband.

shall be considered as the task is not complete without the exchange of rings for the bride and groom-to-be. It is believed to be a symbol that binds to two different people a single bond.

So to mark the occasion more meaningful and one to be cherished for a lifetime, diamond engagement rings is your best bet. And if the gift is unique, elegant, you're sure to hit the right chord at the beginning of the relationship.

Now let's talk a variety of diamond engagement rings available in the market, we look at the a most kinds of designs and parts after: The simple round cut diamond engagement ring to take

first as the most romantic symbol depicting the emotions that the lady-love. If you roll back the time it turns out that these gems are always placed an essential part of any relationship.

No, it's not a diamond ring love something minor, but these gems can only increase the already over flowing emotion of love.

2. The unique combination of princess cut engagement rings rare cut and design. They are square or rectangular shaped diamond is the latest hit among the ladies. Most of the party animals and celebrities, particularly celebrities have made this piece of jewelry style. It is regarded as a perfect blend of class, tradition and style.

3. The three stone diamond engagement ring, also known as the past, present and future ring is considered as a symbol of eternal love. Most of them believe that the three stone it symbolizes the past present and future. In other words, they believe that the love you had in the past will be the same in the present and the future.

These beautiful jewelry pieces look very stylish and attractive. They mostly prefer working women who love to flaunt their jewelry (connection) everywhere.

4. designer diamond engagement rings custom jewelry that goes perfectly with your engagement / wedding dress. The design is decided to be full of the budget. Most of the time, these unique rings are considered to be too costly, complicated as it involves a lot of work to be done depending on the selected design.

5. Finally, there are antique diamond ring, also known Victorian ring. As the name suggests, these vintage pieces of jewelry, which carries a very authentic look. It shows priceless sentimental and love to an end.

Many times these diamond engagement rings and ancient property passed from one generation to the next to keep up the family tradition. However, given that the advanced technology, such designs are very much available in the market for those who love antique and vintage look.

Apart from these patterns are other diamond engagement rings available on the market.

Source by David Tomer

10th Signs of marriage in turmoil

I know one when I see one marriage in turmoil. I know that a relationship requires attention when watching one. These are two people that the same amount of effort and energy in the marriage to work. It can not be left to one side, that all it takes to keep the relationship intact. They say it takes two to tango. It takes two to agree on the direction to go, the two walk along a longer distance. Marriage is not forced anyone, but this is a culmination of two consenting adults who have felt in their hearts that this is the direction the desire to. The path, friction can come, you must come, because of the differences between men and women, as well as a variety of backgrounds, the husband and wife can come from. If people can not change another and then chaos begins. This can sometimes degenerate into people go to separation and ultimately divorce. However, this is not the original intention of the marriage to end up in divorce. This assumes that a permanent union of two people in a common purpose.

1. No communication – Communication is a vital element of the union. It helps the two to bond and understand each other's feelings. If there is no communication you can be sure that the relationship will die a natural death. Communication will help the vision of the family. This will help the family grew up

2. There is little or no intimacy – intimacy of a marriage bonus. If you have little or no intimacy, you can muddle beer. Once I got the advice that no matter how much they claim to always solve problems, to avoid stopping the desire for intimacy with your partner. Nothing could be special, but if they both agree.

3. For each work the way you like it – two people together will never be a separate agenda, in which one wakes up thinking about something, go ahead and do it without the consent of the other. The action plans are synchronized and communication really helps in this process.

4. No financial accountability and other issues – Accountability plays a central role in the relationship. Issues of money can bring confusion in marriage

5. No joy in your home – must always be the joy and happiness of the home. The home will never be like a prison, where smiles and happy moments of a rare commodity.

6. Transfer the crust – No liability – If there is a problem in the house, the guilty party shall be responsible for their actions, apologize and move on. When blame is shifted, one of the other all the time, you have turmoil on the horizon.

7. Keeping Secrets – no transparency – There are no sacred cows in marriage. What is a woman, her husband knows, and vice versa. Marriages where the secrets that the sun did not last long.

8. Significant events are not celebrated – Some important dates such as birthdays and wedding anniversary particular. These are important dates, when ignored can cause degradation of the value of marriage.

9. Emphasis is placed on other issues, not the family – sometimes one spouse to switch the focus, and narrows down to work, school and children and the kind of thing that takes them away from your partner . This is completely contrary to the values ​​of a connection, if the share of the life and times. One need only find a balance at all times.

10. Tendency to hangout and connect with ex-girl / boyfriend – If your spouse is living in the past, then he / she is double-minded and do not expect your marriage to last. Obligation to be 100 percent on each side. After the addition of other partners is an adultery and it leads to a divorce.

Source by Rabison Shumba

Engagement Anxiety dismantled – Do I Love My Fiance enough?

They tend to speak softly, as if they were in violation of some unwritten law to interested persons. I hear the fear, doubt, confusion and anxiety packed every word, and the relief that I finally found a safe place to discuss their true feelings. The story and subsequent issues some version of the following (written as a woman, but it is equally easy to talk to a man in his wife's future):

"My fiancé is a great guy He is an honest, responsible and loyal. good-looking, fun. my parents and friends love him. I felt so safe has never been anyone. have the same values ​​about children, family, money, religion. I know I love him and he's my best friend, but I'm not sure … sure that I'm in love with it. I love enough to marry? how do I know that I'm not making a mistake? "

usually know in the first fifteen minutes or not the advice to the session, a person commits an error a. But it often takes much longer than my clients to assimilate the information you offer them work through the exercises I used to write and begin to dismantle their commitment anxiety, so that they can transform what we think of as "cold feet" and start to feel , excited about the wedding and marriage. We typically three priority areas to facilitate this process

first red flag can differentiate a normal relationship issues and anxiety commitment:
engagements arising from
There are two types of fear: the first indicates that there is a serious red flag issues in the relationship, and the second is a sign that you're about to be the biggest commitment of your life, and yes, it's scary. What I am referring to the red flag questions? Some are very obvious: the partner of an addiction problem (alcohol, drugs, work, gambling), or betrayal of trust are issues that have not healed, there are core values ​​related to conflicts of interest, like having children or religion. Other red flag of the issues may be less obvious: the partner of major control issues that he is not prepared to deal with, you are young (early twenties) and is not ready to commit to one person, you have the feeling that your partner Whether it & # 39; t really love you, but I prefer the fantasy or idea from you. There are certainly other red flag issues, but these are the most common I see in my practice.

The other kind of fear of what is usually thought of as "cold feet". Personally I do not like the term cold feet because it does not accurately describe what people experience during the engagement, which is a real fear. It's not mince words; I'm calling a spade a spade, and when people are in transition, very frightened. They are afraid of the unknown. They're afraid jumped off the cliff and landing on the normal life in new and unfamiliar territory. They are afraid of commitment a person forever. My husband is very scary, and to say otherwise is to avoid the basic truth about this major life transition. So, if we determine that there are no major red flag issues in the relationship, we are working to normalize the fear and learn how to add location is not allowed in order to run the show.

2. We love again:

Culture is a lot of misconceptions about love and there is no where to appear more prominently than anywhere engagements, weddings. Before getting engaged, clients share that they felt positive partner and excited to marry. But when he opened the question suddenly put her and their relationship under a microscope, and wonders love him enough? I know that I like, but I really am in love with him? And then around the waterfall buzzwords love and marriage cascading down his mind day and night: He is my soul mate? What if I settle? Do you have enough passion? He (my all-time favorite, and the one that gets the most women) is one?

Oh, dear, if these words and phrases cause to doubt, you're not alone! It just means that it's time to get back to what it means to love someone to decide to marry someone, make a conscious, daily choice to love and approve. As one customer wisely he said: "I had to fall out of love fiance so I could learn what love is, and then falls in love with him again – this time in a healthy place I learned that love is not a feeling but a choice.." During wedding advice , we spend a lot of time discussing the truth about love, romance and marriage, until the imagination of the customer and cracked open sound true love.

3. It examines the underlying causes of anxiety:

The word anxiety is a kind of catch-all phrase that includes a wide spectrum of emotions of fear and dread of depression, sadness and uncertainty. The crux of the Conscious Weddings advice – and the impetus for pioneering bridal consultants for more than a decade – is to shed light on the thoughts and feelings that are typically created what we think, wedding cold feet and commitment anxiety. They are as follows:

o Bereavement about letting go of a single identity and lifestyle

o fears that the commitment to marry a person

o Confusion about how to isolate the origin family
o doubt, the unknown Marriage

o recurring sense of loss about deceased relatives and previous relationships, previous transitions

In other words, sometimes the anxiety that arises nothing to do with the engagement partner. After you make sure that there are no red flag question, and again what true love is, I help the client to remove the projection fiance then lead him into the underlying causes, and the anxiety dissipates and he knows the joyful wedding and healthy the marriage of your dreams.

Source by Sheryl Paul

Sex is always better case than marriage?

Much of the time, when people mention sex case, we assume that this is so good it is almost mind-blowing. I assume that the fact that this is good enough to be worth the risk. Many spouses who cheat anyone they also make this assumption, even if their spouse everything in his power to claim that this is not true.

For example, you might hear a conversation like this:.. "My husband is trying to claim that he was having sex will not in fact, he insists that sex is no good saying that sex is right with me and the other women did not really know what they want. but it says that the point of the matter never had sex. he reportedly attracted to her because she listened to and supported, at least so says . I think that he just says he does not want me to tone up sex if we stay together. everyone knows that sex is good money, is not it? "

Well, everyone assumes it. But it was the people's opinions, that relationship was most definitely not about sex, it's like her husband. Many say that the case was more the excitement, emotional attachment and support, and for someone who seems to appreciate them, without expectations.

For example, a husband may say, "If people see the other woman, always assume that I only sex I did not I would not say that there was no sex, because we But it was never… the draw for me. I've been friends with other women for a long time. I made some bad investments meant that I had to cut back on my spending. This is me wife treat me differently. he always crazy, and he's always making sarcastic comments about me. the another woman then & # 39;. t like that he's happy to just go and have a picnic lunch and conversation can not expect to buy her things, and she does not want to take care of his content just me it's a… such a huge relief when facing the expectations of my wife. "

I hear such comments lot. And I hear them people who have no reason to lie. I do not know, their spouses, so I can not possibly put in a good word for them. I want someone to unload her feelings, which is why it often had an affair in the first place.

And I'm not saying that it excuses them. There is no excuse. But, I think based on matters of emotion just as dangerous, if not more so, than matters that are the basis of sex. Anytime you get the spouse of someone in the family needs met, that's the problem.

But many therapists and professionals will tell you that a case is much more than just sex. I'm not a professional, but I certainly do not believe it. Sex is only one aspect of the relationship, but this is certainly not the only consideration.

Many people can not possibly believe that a man risking your marriage or family bad sex. The thing is, sex is not his end result. His final result more and emotional needs are met. His end result is that the other woman did not make him feel pressure. He makes her feel relevant again.

Now this is the reality? Most certainly not. If the case continues, it is very likely that the other woman would develop expectations over time. People want to believe that their affair partner does not want anything from them, or have no expectations or demands. But it's not unrealistic to expect that things will always be that way. The more serious and long-term relationship, there will be more expectations.

And then it happens, the husband often lose interest because they know that the expectations at home with no trouble at all.

of course, the original question was sex then let's go back to that. Many people will tell you that the sex ratio is amazing and some of them really believe. But most people will tell you that having sex with the same person over time (such as a spouse) is good sex, because the person knows. They know what you like and what you do not like. You are likely to be refined in a physical relationship in the long run.

The case of a person can not say that. The relationship is often just the beginning. Of course, there is a little new, but it is still too soon pass. Sometimes the sex started to look good, even great, but once this is nothing new, nothing special.

I can not possibly say or guess what sex was like a husband and the other woman. But I can tell you that not everyone says that the matter of sex is always good. Many people will tell you that it was nothing special, but it was fine with them, because the intercourse was not a draw. The fact that the other person managed to make you feel was the draw. Or the relief they felt some stress or short coming of the draw.

Source by Katie Lersch

Rustic Theme – Popular for weddings, engagement parties and bridal showers

planning a wedding, engagement party or hen party? Want to be a theme that will wow the guests and this event is to remember? The rustic theme may be the way to go. This is an increasingly popular topic that brides, brides-to-be and the party hosts choose their event. The growing popularity is evident wedding blog posts, Pinterests and event websites.

What is a rustic theme?

Having a rustic appearance usually means that some elements of wood are used, and almost everything that encompasses aspects of nature. A place where the farm, barn, national park, or some external environment, wood or natural settings, you can set the rustic scene.

After an open-air venue is definitely the easiest way to achieve this rustic look. If the location is closed, the theme can be carried out if the batteries are taken outdoors indoors.

How to Achieve a rustic theme

You can choose from a broad elements to achieve this setting. Materials such as bark, flowers, foliage, evergreen, timber, canvas bags and cans can be used. These elements, together with mason jars filled with flowers, pine cones, and goods twine wrapped able to complete the natural look.

The rustic theme decorating can be used throughout the event invitations until the thank- cards. Wedding or party stationery such as invitations, menus and site owners can embrace rustic feel by adding a tree or a natural element whether or simply a picture of these things. You could receive wood tables, covered in a burlap cloth. Maybe you want to mason jars filled with native flowers and vegetables that are packed in natural fibers, like in the middle of the table pieces, or even votive candles placed in a hollowed-out tree log.

The other event decoration can play it sporadically placed around the theme of the party supplies, log in here and there, wooden tables, wooden troughs, and other earthy-colored fabric. In some weddings even the animals were actually present at the scene of the subject.

selected menu included homemade kitchen during all or part of the meal. For example, homemade pumpkin soup, local wines and cheeses and apple and rhubarb pie to the menu.

Even the cake can be used to make a rustic look, if the choice is wood or design to the natural colors.

rebates greenhouse honey or jam, hot chocolate mix or a bottle of local wine, and presented to the labels or packaging, which represents a rustic look.

Modern brides and event planners are taking different types of occasions rustic atmosphere and so elegant, chic and takes into account the individual's personal style. This may be by using a simple and cost-effective case for domestic, DIY or found the product directly from nature or can be a big glittering event purchased or rented equipment and employing the services of a specialist theming.

The rustic look is more popular than ever and anyone can be easily achieved by simply using elements of the event, which is represented by the nature and the great outdoors.

Source by Kristine Shepherd

possessiveness and the tragic effects of marriage

ownership marriage is the desire to dominate and control every aspect of your spouse's life. Maybe in terms of friendships and relationships, jobs, hobbies, or even programs you can watch on your TV. This can lead to the coercive control of another person, so that the victim was afraid to allow such behavior, or what you want to do. Ownership is often attributed to men. But there are many women who also want to keep their husbands in a pincer grip. Probably the "hen-pecked" reflects this attitude.

arranged marriage between the bright and cheerful young pharmacist and an officer of a private bank. Although his features contorted Bell's palsy, his parents thought nothing of it. I had a steady job with a good income ensuring the safety of their daughter. Within a few months, it has become a sad, moody and disturbed woman. Her husband was a holder such an extent that he needed an hour by hour account of behavior in the workplace. He prevented progress professionally in different ways.

could not connect any social activities with colleagues. Three children followed in quick succession. She tolerated her husband's behavior for ten years. Then it was gone, so the comment to say that if her husband went to the psychiatric treatment for his abnormal behavior, he will never come back. A reminder of the nursery rhyme "Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, who has a wife, but she could not keep her. She made her into a pumpkin shell, and there was very good."

But she broke through the shell hollering, "Do not you dare fence me in."

Obviously, the facial deformity gave him a complex. He felt that if not checked his wife, she would be unfaithful or even leave him. She lost him not because of his looks, but because of his behavior. Time psychiatric finally brought a reunion.

signs of possession:

• Controlling the spouse that her cows down, and argues that his wishes.

• Unfounded suspicion of activity, he meets and whom he speaks. Not only is her interaction with the opposite sex, but also women's friendships are suspicious.

• Frequent phone calls to check the activities.

• the company of friends is completely prohibited.

• selfishness with no consideration for the likes or dislikes spouse.

• Spying on the movements of private investigators.

causes of ownership

The first uncertainty: growing up in troubled families, deprivation of love in childhood, desertion by parents have formed a deep uncertainty. Therefore, you want to keep close to his "possession".

2. Lack of trust for the spouse.

3. inferiority complex: A spouse may be better educated and better trained. He may be holding an important task, and drawing a fabulous salary.

4. Borderline personality disorder or acute: Those who suffer from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder are prone to insecurity and ownership.

5. egocentricity and selfishness. I do not think beyond their own comfort.

6. Jealousy can be hidden or open.

7. When love becomes a passion, the object of love is an obsession.

The effect of the victim

– The frustration and anger against the intimidating spouse.

– retreat socially or professionally.

– Self-depreciation and the loss of self-esteem.

– Depression.

– Desire to escape the clutches of a spouse.

How to prevent the ownership

There are two key elements that are necessary for a stable marriage of love and trust. To do a proper understanding of the different roles of the spouses' relationship. Individual differences should be respected. Although the commitment of marriage can not override some individual rights, not to destroy all individual rights. Each must be the freedom to develop personal skills and interests. Spouses should be able to have friends of the same sex.

M. Scott Peck calls the failure to appreciate the special position of other than narcissism.

"Love is a special job," he says, "The real lover perceives the beloved, as someone who has a completely separate identity. The real lover encourages this separation and the unique personality of the beloved."

Each individual needs mental and physical space, if they operate to full capacity. One spouse can not be an extension of the other. Make time for friends and time for hobbies. However, there must be mutual agreement on the amount of time spent on specific activities. Apart from the time spent not driving them apart. Every little absence makes the heart grow fonder love.

"separateness enhance the marriage relationship," says Scott Peck.

generosity will allow the partners to the real joy of the success of partners. It must encourage and support each other.

How to overcome the possession of

• Discover the roots of insecurity. There is an inferiority complex about your background or your job?

• Are you afraid of losing ownership of the spouse? Communicate your feelings and fears, to your partner, and wipe the case. You'll find that your fears are unfounded.

• Every relationship is to survive and grow, there must be mutual trust and open communication.

• overcome selfishness and your spouse space to grow.

• Remember that having a terrible abuse. You can not love. "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always sticking" (I Corinthians 13: 6.).

• Although marriage is a legal bond that does not mean enslavement of the spouse.

• seek professional help and advice.

advice for victims:

– do not expect others to fight his battles. Facing your spouse, and download the individual's identity.

– do not tolerate any form of abuse. It is better to end the destructive relationship.

Khalil Gibran author / philosopher leaves us with this thought: ". Stay between spaces, togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you"

relationship time to develop. They should be strengthened and nurtured with love and patience, commitment and trust. Through manipulation of ownership leads to intimidation, coercion or enticement that the culprit may be the way. Someone compared witchcraft manipulation. Whether it's a husband or a wife, not a full mandate to control the other.

Source by Eva Bell

Importance of singles before marriage

Dating is essential before marriage. It helps the individual to make the decision that they want to live their whole life to the other person or not. Dating courtship before marriage are usually called, because the relationship has passed the stage just know each other, but toward the seam marriage. The dispute dating and marriage have been there for a while, some people advocacy, and against all the others together. However, going on dates, leading to a marriage or not, it is still common. This indicates that the majority of people still relevant. When are you planning to get married, there are many reasons for marriage is necessary before dating, and they are as follows:

First, dating before marriage will help you understand your partner better so you can get along with minimal conflict. The merging of two people from different backgrounds is likely to bring with it a lot of ups and downs, so it is better to go through the struggles before marriage to see if you can cope with them before marriage.

Second, when dating is the most important goal is to get married, it helps to focus on a couple of what to expect in marriage. This aspect helps to appreciate that it is ready to marry or not, and the responsibilities that come with it. There are couples who have realized before dating and marriage, that they are not compatible with each other and ended the relationship before marriage.

Third, understanding each other's likes and dislikes most likely to be discovered when dating before marriage. The better you understand your partner, the more likely you will be able to get along better marriage. It is in this period of courtship is to know what you can handle, and features that will not be able to live.

Fourth, the future plans and ambitions couple discovered when dating before marriage as discuss the various aspects of their lives. Most of the time, the plans and ambitions of all partners still differ because they live in individual lives. However, as the importance of courtship progresses, be aware of the possibility of harmonizing future plans, so that the same emphasis.

is confirmed before the fifth, dating to the marriage relationship, because different life situations that the couple goes through with the marriage are made. It is in these situations that you can see your partner, who they are and their ability to handle a variety of situations may arise in marriage. However, some couples, these situations will open their eyes to the reality of life, it is likely to live in a marriage and decide to leave.


results are not dating marriage

has stressed before the importance of dating marriage is a variety of publications, and married people, there are still couples that decide to abandon dating and just get married . The most obvious result of not getting to know each other before marriage divorce. Many people who are divorced now, probably not done before deciding to get married, and found that they were not able to handle the responsibilities of marriage and to live with the person they married.

Another result is not walking down the aisle in front of dating, you do not know the purpose of marriage. They do not focus on, where marriage is most likely to conflict, because everyone has their own life that they want to live in a marriage. The marriage, which does not have a common objective is likely to fall apart at the first sign of trouble.

In addition, the dating friendship developed over time, and this can not be done without the courtship between two people. Friendship is important in marriage, because there are times when the feeling of love will not be there, but because we are friends, there are other points of connection.

Overall, dating before marriage is important and should not be neglected if the marriage is to have a chance of survival.

Source by Nguyen Van